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Long time coming

July 14, 2008

I’ve been trying to chew on these thoughts for a while now (ha, chew). I’m officially in a slump. A nasty, low, disappointing slump. I’ve hesitated blogging about it because I don’t really want to hear a sappy peptalk. I don’t want to hear “You can do it! Don’t give up!” because I’ve been telling myself that for weeks. It doesn’t help coming from me, and it won’t help coming from someone else. Words aren’t helping me. In fact, they make me cranky. Which doesn’t help, either.

I know I’m not doing anything good for myself by slumping like this. I know I’m being an idiot. I know I’ll feel better about the world when I straighten up. I know I’ll feel better when I start exercising regularly. I know.

So.

Not only have I not lost any weight recently, I’ve also climbed back up to an average of 153. I’ve been eating too much of too many of the wrong things and I haven’t been exercising enough. I have every excuse why I should eat such and such (including) and for why I shouldn’t move my ass (ranging from heat and humidity to being tired to being too busy).

I claimed last week that I was going to start tracking all my food, but I gave up. At first I forgot, then I just didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to see how I was cheating on myself.

So why am I confessing all this ugliness to the world? Because it’s too easy to hide from myself. You wouldn’t think so, but it is.

I’m going to keep track of what I eat this week and post at the end of the day – the good, the bad and the ugly. I need to re-evaluate what I’m eating and also re-evaluate my life, basically, to better fit regular workouts into my day.

Stay tuned.

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