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January 28, 2010

My nighttime lap: Lucky can’t get enough of sitting in my lap at night after I’ve been away all day. She lubs me.

Also, check out my latest accessory, a bracelet representing Infertility’s Common Thread.


I just recently started wearing this, only because I just recently learned of it. I write quite a bit about my experiences with infertility, but I shy away from reading too much of others’ experiences. I have plenty of friends who I support (or have supported, for those who’ve found success after infertility) and learn from, and our struggles are pretty much all I can take on.

I do a lot of Internet research on PCOS and infertility treatments and procedures and have landed several times on Stirrup Queens. I poke around for a bit, but I usually end up overwhelmed and running backward for dear life.

The success stories are uplifting and inspire envious yearning at the same time. The stories of those who continue to struggle with infertility or have given up after years of battling are heartbreaking.

Not too long ago, my click-here, now-here, now-here, go-there, click-here routine somehow dropped me on Stirrup Queens’ page about Infertility’s Common Thread, and I now suddenly hate how narrow I’ve kept my scope of reading about infertility.

Sure, I struggle daily with my own fertility battle and stand beside loved ones as they fight their own. I’m blessed to have a great network of supportive loved ones, but many are not. Infertility should never be a battle we’re left to fight by ourselves or with just a few close friends by our sides. If I demand from the world more support and compassion, I need to show that same support and compassion to people outside my comfort zone.

I’ll be reading more, I’ll be commenting more, and I’ll be wearing my Common Thread with pride.

Infertility’s Common Thread

Pomegranates, a longstanding symbol of fertility, serve as a strong analogy to those suffering through infertility. Though each pomegranate skin is unique in colour and texture, the seeds inside are remarkably similar from fruit to fruit. Though our diagnosis is unique— endometriosis, low sperm count, luteal phase defect, or causes unknown — the emotions, those seeds on the inside, are the same from person to person. Infertility creates frustration, anger, depression, guilt and loneliness. Compounding these emotions is the shame that drives people suffering from infertility to retreat into silence.

In addition, the seeds represent the multitude of ways one can build their family: natural conception, treatments, adoption, third-party reproduction or even choosing to live child-free.

The pomegranate thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through A.R.T., families created through adoption or couples trying to conceive during infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose. These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility. Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware.

(explanation courtesy of Stirrup Queens)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 30, 2010 1:18 pm

    I found your blog through Blair’s and I’m glad I did.

    I have not heard of The Common Thread before, and I think it’s great. Our infertility isn’t something that I just walk around and chat about (is the state of my ute really my coworkers business?) but I like the idea of community this provides. Even a knowing glance between women. We all have different situations, but the suckage is pretty much universal.

    Oh, and your post on Blair’s blog? Hilarity. Thanks for that!


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